Reflections about living life and how we want it to be celebrated. What kind of legacy do we want to leave?

A few years ago, while videotaping a story about my life, Mike Binkley, a dear friend to me and former television news anchor here in the Twin Cities, once asked me how I would like to be remembered. It's a question I'd never been asked, but, for some unknown reason, I was able to respond with an answer, without hesitation. I told Mike I would like to be remembered as someone who only wanted to become successful enough to be able to help other people become successful. It was true then and true now. I suppose my response to Mike could be considered a legacy statement or even an ongoing statement while still alive. My thinking doesn't make me some sort of hero or saint, but I always feel better when I know something I did helped someone else.
 
Once again, not being a hero nor a saint (nor a devil, either!), I still feel instilled with the values and thought-processes I (and most probably, you) learned in those mostly more innocent and wholesome days of our youth. MY youth (and values-learning) years were the 1930s, 1940s and early 1950s. We were taught manners. We automatically thought "please" and "thank you" in every instance when those words applied, or should have applied. Without being solicitous or condescending, we males held doors open for females and rose at dining tables when a female approached to be seated. We, more than today, in my opinion, respected even those with whom we disagreed, acknowledging their rights to their opinions, unless those opinions were obviously inflammatory or hate-enough oriented to incite violence. A famous Voltaire comment has lived through the centuries. Respectfully. in case you may have forgotten, Voltaire said (paraphrased here), "I may strongly disagree with your views, but I will fight to the death to defend your right to express those views."
 
In my opinion, regarding what it means to be an older American at this time in our history, is often experiencing disrespect for what knowledge we have to offer society. It's been universally accepted for decades our U.S. society generally treats its senior citizens with much less respect than other cultures in this world, most notably those in Asia. In Japan and other Far East countries, elders are treated with inbred societal respect. Younger people there are taught age fosters wisdom and the older the person, the more valued wisdom and education they can impart to those just emerging into the throes of competitive society.
 
Why is more respect for elders so much a part of society in most other countries? One reason could be those countries and cultures have existed for millennia. Our culture has existed for 243 years. Does our youthful existence make us a lesser society? Of course not. We're justifiably looked upon as the most successful in the history of the world. That success, however, needs to continually grow to the point wherein our society parallels the thinking of most of this world's other countries in regard to making most older Americans receive the respect they deserve. Humbly but also realistically stated, in my opinion and the opinions of many, Ebenezer Communities are the precise exemplars of that respectful thinking and reality. 

This being the month of Easter, it's one of the special times of the year when, if possible, we gather with family and, in my opinion, should realize how important family is in our lives. Ebenezer communities, from residents to staff, certainly are exemplary with their emphasis on bringing people together as, in my opinion, almost extended families in home-like surroundings that generate warm hearts and perpetuate a welcoming family atmosphere. One of my recent visits to an Ebenezer community was, for me, close to experiencing an Epiphany regarding witnessing the depth of caring and excellent quality of life that made that community seem more like a "world" rather than a "community'. Nothing was lacking, especially in regard to how the residents interacted as family members who genuinely enjoyed being with each other.
 
From a personal standpoint, my own life yearned for the warmth and security exemplified at Ebenezer communities from the time I knew how to think. Naive as it might have been, the FATHER KNOWS BEST example of how family life should be, even before that television series debuted, was, to me, a life that could really exist, rather than simply a script-writer's dream or fantasy. (Sidebar: I had the pleasure to meet both Jane Wyatt and Elinor Donohue at different times of my life. If your memory might need refreshing, Ms. Wyatt was Robert Young's character's wife on the show and Elinor Donohue the elder of the three children portrayed in the series. In person, both Ms. Wyatt and Ms. Donohue were as warm as the characters they portrayed on that wholesome series of programs.)
 
As unlike FATHER KNOWS BEST as a life could be, and stressing how important family life is, my early years began without a father. He left my mother when I was barely aged 1-1/2. He walked out of the apartment one Sunday to supposedly get a newspaper and never returned. During those days of early World War Two, my mother worked for the War Department, sometimes until 9 or 10 p.m. Because of her schedule, she taught me how to make sandwiches (at age five), as well as open and heat the contents of cans of soup for my weeknight dinners. I also listened to the radio every night, in the dark. The programming was educational talk as well as classical music on the station whereon I would soon become a boy singer every Saturday morning for five years (KDKA, the world's first commercial radio station). 
 
In a nutshell, and not to be stated as a "pity party", my young, and even not-so-young, years, were lonely, with the loneliness amplified when I'd also listen to some popular radio soap operas with scripts focused on families and family life. Once again, even before FATHER KNOWS BEST, I wanted a "normal" family existence.
 
The kind of family I wanted as a child eventually materialized for me in later years, with the blessing of a wonderful marriage, two daughters (one of whom, I'm saddened to state, passed away two years ago at age 54 from ovarian cancer), four grandchildren and nine great-grandchildren. There have been many other blessings, including being a spokesperson for Ebenezer, the exemplars of knowing how to illustrate what it is to enjoy the true happiness of perpetuating family life, especially for those of advanced ages, as a mission-driven, values-based organization.
 
Thank you for reading, as always and pre-Happy Easter.

 A few blogs ago, I referenced the Scouting motto, "Be prepared", as a wise mantra to adopt and follow throughout life. Fewer more powerful words were ever written or spoken, in my opinion. Unless one has been living in a cave without communication, it's common knowledge, but I think worth repeating, procrastination allows unforeseen life-disrupting occurrences to pounce on us as unpleasant surprises because we inadvertently or unwisely failed to prepare for those occurrences far in advance of their becoming reality. 
 
Whether taking precautionary measures in our younger years in regard to preparing for catastrophic life-altering health or accident emergencies, domicile protection or even end-of-life eventualities, all of the preceding should be, or have been, a major part of our life experiences, again in my opinion. I think the preceding is especially true in THIS country, where we're blessed to have the freedom (and blessings) to access and choose the professional means to prepare ourselves and even loved ones from experiencing the stark terror of life-changing surprises without preparation for same. 
 
What comes first to my mind is the subject of insurance, be it health-related or life. As one who was quite young and naive about preparing for the unforeseen, I remember being both skeptical and financially cautious about purchasing life insurance. I was all of 23 years old when the insurance salesman visited our home. All I could think of, not being a fan of being "pitched", especially when pennies were very tight, was "He's going to try to sell me something I don't want or need". Shame on me. That life insurance policy has been a pre-death life SAVER several times throughout the years. The same for homeowners and other insurance policies. Insurance is the key word, since it obviously means we're insuring and ensuring the fact we'll be "safe" (or relatively so) when a crisis occurs, especially a crisis wherein possibly all our savings (if we have any) could be depleted in an instant.
 
By the way, I must emphasize this blog is not a direct or subliminal "pitch" for you to consider any insurance purchases, but rather simply mentioning insurance as an illustration of just one of the options we have akin to the freedoms we enjoy in this country.
 
Please, if necessary or applicable, avail yourself of the ongoing opportunity provided by Ebenezer Communities to visit with one of our crisis-avoidance professionals who can offer sound advice regarding achieving peace-of-mind and staying, or becoming "safe" in sometimes unpredictably unpleasant situations. 
 
Thank you for reading and hopefully thinking more about how to prepare to avoid or deal with crises before they occur.

Misconceptions about assisted living and what it really is.
In my opinion (as is always the case in these spaces, knowing I don't know it all), deciding if, or when to make a life-changing decision, especially in regard to changing the locales of the physical spaces in which we live, because we might NEED to make those changes, has to be one of the most important decisions we can ever make. Again in my opinion, perhaps it's THE most important decision. There are several reasons, I opine, as follows: 

When many of us, or possibly most, decide it's time to live our remaining senior years in relative comfort, without some of the anxieties that come with individual basic needs not being met, as well as home ownership and maintenance, it's comforting to know assisted living exists. 

For some of us, perhaps many, it's difficult to ever admit we're "slowing down." Maybe it’s hard to admit we are not always doing what we should in regards to our personal care. Things that used simple and routine like dressing for the day, cooking and cleaning, bathing, and even managing our medication  may be getting increasingly challenging as we age.

Even though many of us are blessed with minds that are still sharp and aware, chronological age can still play a major role regarding how ALWAYS alert we are, or are not. It's tough to admit, but sometimes many of us feel those moments and realize it IS time to "slow down" and perhaps let a 102-year-young organization such as Ebenezer, and its many assisted living  communities, help make life a lot easier and, truly, happier.

One of several misconceptions about assisted living is that when one decides to move into an assisted living community, the new lifestyle will cause you to lose your independence. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, choosing some a la carte home health services as needed, meals, or housekeeping assistance helps seniors to keep their independence. Often times, by continuing to neglect the issues we need help with, we’re increasing the chance of a health crisis which would in turn cause our loss of independence.

As noted on the http://www.EbenezerCares.org website, if you or a loved one need help managing daily activities or if care giving is consuming too much of your time, Ebenezer offers solutions that are close to home and may be even more affordable than you think. Ebenezer's assisted living communities are designed for those who are looking for a more carefree lifestyle (the word "happy" comes to my mind again, and based on the truth) and who may need help with daily activities, like  dressing, cooking and cleaning, medication management and bathing. Also noted on part of Ebenezer's website, Ebenezer’s beautifully-designed assisted living rental apartments provide the care and services needed and the independence residents want.  Ebenezer’s affordable monthly fee includes a meal plan and light housekeeping. One can add personal and care services as needed.

Ebenezer assisted living communities are a great solution for those who want more services than independent living communities can provide. Staff is on duty 24-hours a day.

Please consult with one of our assisted living specialists at Ebenezer and they can help you navigate and understand assisted living. Thank you for reading, as always!

Medication management tips, safety, and how you can best manage your medication. 
Moms, or even Dads, who forget to take their medications should not feel as though their forgetfulness is something too unusual, or if they should consider accepting Pariah status, Heaven forbid.
 
Even those of us who are perfectionists, even in our 80s, sometimes forget to take those all-important medications. I take a total of at least 14 pills (meds) a day to control, among other ailments, Type-2 Diabetes; high blood pressure (hypertension); Chronic Lymphocytic: Leukemia (under control, I’m happy to state, thanks to the meds); Neuropathy, and more. Sometimes I feel like a walking pharmacy! I'm certain you can possibly identify with that unenviable description, too. Regardless, all the prescribed and over-the-counter meds many of us are taking are either helping us live more healthful lives or elongating our years via the wonderful breakthroughs that have developed to amplify our quality and length of life.
 
Regardless, as we age and not necessarily because of dementia, some of us DO sometimes forget to take our meds. If it happens once in a long while (the case for yours truly), one missed dose should not be taken with the next dose. That's the advice from my wife who during her early work years, was employed at the Minneapolis VA Hospital and learned considerable information about patients who were on enough multiple meds that missing one scheduled intake would not be life-threatening. Missing the meds on a recurring basis could be.
 
Respectfully, following is the regimen to which I subscribe daily to not miss the very necessary meds I ingest:
1. Keep the compartmentalized meds container on the kitchen counter 24/7/365 reminding me it's there to help me remember to take the pills contained in each day-part "compartment" (for breakfast, evening dinnertime and bedtime).
2. Leave the meds container on the kitchen counter at the very same spot, as a constant reminder.
3. If for some reason a dosage is missed, just skip that dosage, as previously suggested and resume "full speed" with the next scheduled intake.
 
Obviously, my suggestions are strictly based on the regimen I've been following for many years. Hopefully they may serve as a successful guideline to you, your Mom, Dad or any relative or loved one who shouldn't be forgetting taking those all-important meds.
 
If you find you or a loved one is needing more help with their medications, please visit Fairview Lifeline for medication dispensers. 
Thank you for reading, as always.
Barry ZeVan

THE BEST TIME TO MAKE A PLAN IS WHEN YOU DON'T NEED ONE.
I've never been a procrastinator. In fact, especially in these days of phone calls not returned in a timely fashion, or emails also not acknowledged, at least within a couple hours, I'm the antithesis of what was just described. Perhaps it's the era into which I was born, i.e., the late 1930s. Non-procrastination and planning ahead was instilled in me by my mother. Indeed, the common practice, in those days and until at least the 1970s, to be considerate of other people's needs for punctual responses, as well as preparing for possible eventualities that NEED to be addressed before they occur, is almost a lost and much-needed "art."
 
Obviously, people still purchase life and other sorts of insurance and the outstanding Boy Scout motto, "Be Prepared," hasn't yet been abandoned. Regardless, there are some families and individuals who still wait to take action until disaster strikes. Some of those disasters affecting mostly seniors are, of course, strokes, heart attacks, pneumonia (from which I'm thankfully just successfully recovering), dementia, Alzheimer's, physical trauma, automobile accidents and so many more too numerous to mention, or predict. 
 
What can you do to prepare for the above-stated possibilities (or probabilities) when one or more of all the preceding haven't yet occurred and life is presently "good?" In my opinion, common sense should prevail. Just those two Boy Scout words, "Be Prepared,"should be the mantra for almost everything we might encounter in life. There have been very few times in my life, even when times were good, when I didn't have the blessing of forward-thinking Plans A, B, C, D and beyond, again, in my opinion, attributable to my mother and that era into which I was born.
 
Hopefully, the preceding respectful admonition to create Plans A, B, C, D (and beyond) will motivate those who haven't yet made safety-net plans for their senior loved-ones before those plans need to be activated, to please do so, not only because it's common sense but also because your pre-planning will help create peace of mind for you and/or your senior loved ones. 
 
Thank you for reading, as always. I hope these thoughts have been helpful. 

 Television producer/actor Carl Reiner is in his 90s. So are Producer/actor Mel Brooks, comedian/actor Jerry Stiller and singer Ed Ames. Actor Kirk Douglas is 102. They all have one thing in common. In my opinion, they pay no attention to their ages, and a few of them are still strong enough, physically and emotionally, to still be in the business (pleasure) of creating entertainment for millions of us. They are, of course, all multi-millionaires who have the luxury of access to only the world's finest medical and emotional help, with cost not a factor. I've been blessed to have close relationships with all of them, except for Kirk Douglas. (His son, Michael, and I have had some good professional and personal times together, however.)
 
I also have met, even recently at Ebenezer's Trails of Orono, community members in their 80s and 90s who are as alert and alive in spirit as people half their ages. I'm 81-1/2 and still psychologically feel 20 most days. Regardless, moods are normal, especially as we get older, since we've had more life experiences occur than people chronologically younger than we are. Sometimes, I think the moody negatives jump into our minds because we have too much time to think. 
 
Regardless, there are a few "secrets" in my opinion, to ridding ourselves of remembrances of our chronological ages, if those remembrances tend to make us feel depressed. One "secret" in my opinion and to which I refer frequently. is just telling my mind to "be quiet" and simply think of happy thoughts and memories. Also listening to uplifting music. It can really be achieved, sometimes not easily, but can definitely become a good and relatively easy habit in relation to knowing aging is just a number.
 
One of my long-ago friends was a man named Everett Kircher. Everett founded the Boyne Ski Resorts in Michigan and eventually bought Big Sky, Montana and Crystal Mountain, Washington resorts. I was blessed to have Everett's son, John, have Everett and me as passengers on their private jet to visit Big Sky (I'd been there several times previously), flying from Kalamazoo. Michigan to Bozeman, Montana, the airport closest to Big Sky. During the flight, Everett, who was then 75, told me he was depressed. here was a man who could buy and sell half the U.S. About what was he depressed? He told me, at age 75, he hadn't done one-tenth of what he wanted to accomplish in life, but also stated he knew age was just a number and was bound and determined to do as much else as possible until he could do no more. I'm not certain at what age Everett left us, but I know he definitely didn't consider age being a deterrent to additional successes.
 
There are numerous stories about people, famous or not, powerful or not, that echo those chronicled above. The numbers on our birthday cards should not deter us from realizing we're more than  blessed to have achieved living more than the three-score-ten the Bible states would be the goal to achieve chronologically. Knowing we have those blessings, in my opinion, we should forget the annual numbers and rejoice in the daily numbers we're been blessed to have and ENJOY.

Ebenezer has been blessed with numbers as well.  For instance they've been around more than 100 years. Another happy number for Ebenezer is 91.  As of today, Ebenezer has 91 locations in Minnesota and Iowa. And just like my age, Ebenezer's number's keep growing! Oh, and here's another number to consider:  612-672-7262. That's a great number to know if you are looking for senior living.
Best!
Barry

The old adage stating, “One's good health is the most important thing one has,” is certainly true. Although not heart-related, I've been blessed to "cheat death" at least three times throughout my life. I was told, during two of those life-threatening times, I was blessed with a strong heart and it made all the difference regarding survival. As we’re annually aware, February is annually American Heart Month.
As American Heart Month continues, the AMA encourages all Americans to take control of their heart health by monitoring their blood pressure levels and making healthy lifestyle changes that can significantly reduce the risk of serious health consequences associated with high blood pressure. According to the AMA, an overwhelming number of Americans are living with uncontrolled high blood pressure — putting them at increased risk for heart attack and stroke. By empowering more people to monitor and control their blood pressure, there will be a continuum to not only help improve health outcomes for everyone, but also reduce health care costs.”
The AMA’s six tips for improving heart health to reduce the risk of heart attack and stroke, include the following:

1. Know your blood pressure numbers — Visit LowerYourHBP.org to find resources on understanding your numbers and take necessary steps to get your high blood pressure — or hypertension — under control. There are often no symptoms or signs of high blood pressure, often referred to as the “silent killer,” but if left untreated the condition damages the blood vessels and increases the risk for heart attack, stroke, and other serious conditions.
2. Commit to a treatment plan to manage high blood pressure — Work with your doctor to create an individualized treatment plan that focuses on healthy lifestyle changes that you can realistically stick to long-term to help you maintain a lower blood pressure and lower your risk for negative health consequences.
3. Be more physically active — Regular physical activity can help reduce the risk of developing high blood pressure. It is recommended that healthy adults 18 to 65 years of age should get at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic physical activity five days per week, or 20 minutes of vigorous-intensity aerobic physical activity three days a week.
4. Eat a healthy diet — Making simple dietary changes can help you manage or prevent high blood pressure, including eating less sodium, reducing the amount of packaged, processed foods you consume, and eating foods that are rich in potassium.
5. Maintain or achieve a healthy weight — Take steps to lose weight, if overweight as being 20 pounds or more overweight could put you at increased risk of developing high blood pressure.
6. Drink alcohol in moderation — If you consume alcohol, do so in moderation as defined by the U.S. Dietary Guidelines for Americans — up to one drink per day for women and two drinks per day for men, and only by adults of legal drinking age.

 
Improving and maintaining the health of Ebenezer Community residents is a top priority for Ebenezer. As part of Fairview Health Services, Ebenezer is committed to helping our residents maintain their health.
!

In my opinion, the longer we live, the number of memories and life experiences we’ve had, and are still having, create a mental avalanche, sometimes too overwhelming to accept. As everyone reading this is more than aware, those memories and life experiences certainly create a potpourri of happiness and sadness. For yours truly to try to identify what makes us happy, aside from the obvious, would require more descriptions than space herein will allow, but I'll do my best and hopefully elicit a happy smile from you, dear reader.  

One thing that makes me happy is visiting the oncology doctors at the VA. What? I'm not only happy when they tell me I'm doing well, but also when they start feeling for lumps in my armpits. I'm ticklish under my right arm and giggle. The doctors at the VA  are kind enough to accept it and start laughing, too, thus when they're checking for those lumps, they just kindly accept the fact that "The Giggler" is there and are more gentle performing the examination.

What makes us happy if we're parents, grandparents or great-grandparents is seeing the joy on the faces of the littlest ones when they receive presents for their birthdays, during holidays or just surprise presents given for no more reason than the fact they're loved and they know it. Our youngest of nine great-grandchildren, named Mercy Grace (aged one), has irresistible cheeks. Great-grandpa here can't resist gently "chucking" them. It's been the case for each kid, grand-kid (we have four) and the nine great-grandchildren since 1961! Just a simple description of something that brings perpetual smiles to yours truly. Without presumption here, I'm certain if you have children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, you can easily identify with the happiness I've described.

Obviously, if certain entertainment makes us happy, the producers of the entertainment have succeeded. Cherished friendships, of course, should contribute daily to our happiness. Those living in Ebenezer Communities are blessed to have the wonderful opportunity to develop new friendships at advanced ages, amplifying the happiness factor.
On the other side of the spectrum, depression sometimes rears its ugly head and we need to conquer it as intelligently and rapidly as possible. I experienced that not-so-pleasant feeling more than once. While I've not found a "magic wand" to eliminate the depression, I know that every time I've felt depressed I've been blessed to be able to snap out of it more rapidly every time. Counting our blessings is one way to realize we're always on the plus side of life. It's not easy to do, but it is do-able. Also, not being timid about letting friends know through what you may be going in regard to "the blues", is very helpful, to say the least.  
We're not alone on this journey. Ebenezer's offers many resources and support groups regarding this subject are available. Thank you for reading, as always. (Be happy!)

 
 

LOVE the process of aging and those around you. 
Valentine’s Day is approaching. What better reason than to also approach the subject of love. I think Saint Valentine would be humbly flattered that his mantra has flourished into the 21st century. I think he would also be delighted to know love, in its many forms, is actually considered the ultimate emotion for which we strive to both receive and convey. Loving the fact we of senior ages should love the process of aging and love those of similar ages around us should be, in my opinion, one of the major goals to achieve as we advance annually.
There are so many "pluses" to aging, again in my opinion. Some of them include the fact we've lived enough years to amass a multitude of wisdom about how life's twists and turns have made us into stronger people, enabling us to better cope with those twists and turns because we've probably been through those times more times than we can count. "Been there, done that" is the colloquialism that enters my mind in that regard.
Wisdom from others also helps guide us in the proper emotional and mental direction when adding up how wonderful it is to have reached the senior years of our lives. Some motivational wisdom has been uttered by many we respect and admire, as follows:

• "It's never too late to be who you might have been" - Female authoress George Eliot
• "I've never been poor, only broke. Being poor is a frame of mind. Being broke is only a temporary situation." - Mike Todd (Elizabeth Taylor's favorite husband, who perished in a New Mexico plane crash and a Minneapolis native.)
• "We must be willing to let got of the life we have planned, so as to live the life that is waiting for us." - Novelist E.M. Forster
• "I never got a good job I didn't create for myself." - Actress Ruth Gordon
• "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." - Albert Einstein
• "The only things worth learning are the things you learn after you know it all." - President Harry Truman
• "You must live the life you were born to live." - Fictional Mother Superior's admonition to Maria Von Trapp in "The Sound of Music". Profound, though a quote from fiction.
• "Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts." - Sir Winston Churchill
• "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
• "The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing." - Samuel French
• "You never stop paying your dues." - Actor/sincere Joel Grey to me during a television interview
• "Life is being to take the bitter with the better." - J. Allen Jensen, broadcast executive
• "Follow every rainbow, 'til you find your dream" - Partial lyrics from The Sound of Music song, Climb Every Mountain

In  my opinion, every one of these has a positive message, attuned to all the thinking and doing we've amassed during our blessed longer lives. Loving the process of aging and loving it for our contemporaries are thoughts that should keep us going productively and happily for the remainder of our life-loving lives. Again, Saint Valentine would be proud.
Thank you for reading and Happy Valentine's Day.